Database Developer

The first time I worked with relational databases, I fell in love with the idea of being a database developer. Seriously, love. I’ll marry an RDBMS once our government approves polygamy and marriage to inanimate objects or concepts. A system that categorizes, optimizes, and ties together disparate data… oh heck yeah!

Being a closeted database developer has led to many tech jobs, but oddly, none of them were purely database jobs. It had been a career long dream to work only with databases. I even tried to force that with one company. They ignored my threats. Always the programmer, never the dedicated database guru.

Most of my experience revolves around MySQL and her better looking sister, MariaDB. In the past, in much larger companies, I’ve worked a lot with Microsoft SQL Servers, but they’re high maintenance, and a little too expensive to keep happy. I can’t afford a relationship with Oracle, but her cousins are way hotter anyway.

My most recent database developer dalliance is with an ongoing personal project, a complicated system that helps my writing. It uses tables, views, and stored procedures to make sure I don’t overuse words, start paragraphs with duplicate words, use similes. It parses out my dialog and narration, grading them differently, and an f-ton more.

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